Paradise Lost

   Cruises. Don't you just love them, a chance to relax and soak up some sun with a beer or a good read. Just chill and put those headphones on and let all those troubles float away. Then the wise got wiser. There's money to be made here and lots of it, all these young to middle aged folk with a looser wallet all chasing a GOOD TIME. Morals and ethics somewhat out the window, the motto becomes drink differently drink more and more often. Work is for pussies.

   Management and in particular those music types want their piece thank you very much. The whole ship just became a floating merch booth. The captain's the only sober one on the ship, well you hope so anyway especially at those prices. Band after band after band line up like all those empty glasses in front of you, some of them with less substance then the one staring you in the face, you need a couple more to forget how bad they were. Or how bad you are.

   I'm sure they are fun and I would like to go on one someday but how many fingers can you put in the dyke before everyone drowns? The album and tour to promote it, the album to promote a tour or for the really lazy one song. The package tour with bands that played together not so long ago. Hey, lets change a song or two so it feels kind of fresh and the fans won't feel the pinch like everyone is 5 years older and the ticket price is doubled. So the boat's the new thing. Or the old thing. Just like your mobile phone you just got but the next couple of models are up and coming. So where's the new concert model? Really this concept is old hat already like a lot of the bands on board who should know better, or don't know how to do anything else, or the ones who stay in their cabin for the trip because their ego is back in 1988.

   I'm sure the vibe amongst the fans is great. The one chance you have to get that Winger shirt out and not be sniggered at by so called normal folk. You wink and you nod with people you have never met but have known for life. You hope the opportunity arises that you can shake a musicians hand and get a pic or an autograph and get out of there before he thinks you a complete weirdo and drool all over him. Hey, it's the alcohol talking.

   Then you go home and tell everyone about all the bands you saw but didn't really because you were so blind drunk for the duration of the trip. The way these cruises are going you could probably guess 70% of the bands anyway cause they show up every year. Now you would never see Lemmy doing one of these things.........

Richie.